..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I love having hate sex.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
