He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
