He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
