He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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