she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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