Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I touched a dick in church today
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
