I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
