Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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