just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
