I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My bed smells like the plague
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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