at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
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