You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
