Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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