Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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