i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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