I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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