my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize