Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
