How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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