remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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