i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
