:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
