pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
