i think my tv is drunk
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
