well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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