I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
