Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
