There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
