Tell her she can't have a vagina
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
