Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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