Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize