I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
