So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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