doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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