The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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