Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
