You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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