You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I am one with the molecules
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
