She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize