i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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