Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
