i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
