The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Success! We fucked roommates!
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