Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we're making bets on your personal life
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
