he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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