How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
