Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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