I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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