I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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