Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
