You can't motorboat a personality
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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