Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
