Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Found your dick twin last night
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
