WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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