Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i barfeds in our rink
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
