he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize