Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
