Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
