I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Randomize
