im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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