Are we in a gay sports bar?
barbara walters just said penis...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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