I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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