Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
